I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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