What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.