I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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