We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
