On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
