oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
