Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
