Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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