she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
