His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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