Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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