??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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