Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
