Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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