Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
