She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize