my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
