I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
