ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
