Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
