Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
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I need you to use more vowels.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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