i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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