We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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