I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
