Umm I'm too high to move.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
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I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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