it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
