Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize