There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
