he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
