but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
