People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
