She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
