they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
