DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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