I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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