dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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