No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
