I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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