I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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