so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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