Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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