i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
