If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
