one might say we're banned from that church
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
