brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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