id be glad to
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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