TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
