ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
