hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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