I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
