like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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