Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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