you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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