I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize