Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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