She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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