Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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