According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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