I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
